Looking Back

Alone & Hurting

It seems like it was 10 years ago, but in reality, it was three years ago. I am sitting here today trying to remember what I was feeling. Did I want to be homeless, or did I want to be dead? I knew she would throw me out and I felt like I was worthless and not needed or wanted anymore. But I had one more night to think about it. And the next day was Father’s Day…<*sighs*>

Now three years later so much has changed. I live by myself, barely making it month by month and I know yet another rent increase should be announced within the next week. This will be my first FD without being under the directive of a therapist. I’m having trouble focusing and it’s only 1148 hrs right now. But I didn’t sleep much last night and think I am going to grab an hour or so nap and come back then and finish this up, or I may wait until tomorrow when I am feeling better or worse but I just need to feel better than I am right now.