Diverting Reflections

[ Listening To:…” Meds 101 “…a playlist of mine from Amazon Music ]
[ Reading:…” Prelude to Foundation “…by Issac Asimov ]

I’m still trying to figure out why I am so sick lately. Diverticulosis; that’s what they say I have. I’m bleeding from my ass, every time I take a crap. And it is not a hemorrhoid bleed. It was so bad a week ago I was in the ER all day on Monday; spent the night on the 5th floor and went home Tuesday late. Funny thing though; my diet needs to be a lot better, but it’s not going to happen overnight. I’m running out of TP, funny… huh? I know the docs are preparing to do a colonoscopy, and I suspect they will find something, that no one will like… Fuck I am 74, what am I supposed to do? Im not ready to die, not even close. Could be worse…could be rasining.

I went on Facebook the other night and you know what?… I get triggered, or anything. I thought I was going to spas out over the racing images but it didn’t happen. Scott Bloomquist died in an airplane accident and that was just what most people were talking about. I saw a few familiar faces, but not many, and those that I saw have either grown or just faded away from my memory of working in and being so active in all aspects of the sport. But I don’t miss it, not one bit. I am glad it’s over. My only regret, I lost all my tools, every single one of them, electrician tools, mechanic tools, construction tools… Everything. It’s like I never existed, and that’s what pisses me off the most… I DID exist, and I was good at what I could do, but all of that is meaningless now. I told them…take all the tools and stick them up your asses… I guess they did.

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning……Winston Churchill